It's the Little Things
by Tonko
Summary: Usopp intervenes for Sanji against some unwanted stowaways.


Supper had finished, and Usopp was on the eternally glorious dishwashing duty. While he scrubbed, Sanji organized some of his cupboards, darting back to the sink intermittently to dry another stack and put it away.

When Sanji suddenly disappeared into the pantry, muttering "pistachios!" Usopp didn't think much of it, half-sunk in thought about dial adjustments and whether he could get just a little more spin, or if he even wanted to rather than get that bit more range-well, he could compensate for that after all...

Zoro wandered back in, then, apparently delayed from his post-supper nap by the extremely urgent memory that there had been just a little more beer left in that keg they'd tapped. This was obviously a problem that needed a swordsman's considerable skill to remedy. He filled a mug and drank it there, leaning against the counter, not bothering to leave, even though Usopp lapsed into talking aloud about his slingshot upgrade plans.

He got through the supper dishes and carefully eyed the saucepans and stew pot. They were off the stove, they were definitely very empty and not containing any kind of leftover Sanji would want to recover. Woe to the cluelessly helpful (male) dishwasher who accidentally sent recoverable food down the drain! It should be safe to clean these, though, he knew from (painful) experience.

"Give it here," Usopp said when Zoro had finally drained his mug, making a show of long-suffering that Zoro had added to his vast and terrible ordeal of suds and water.

"S'good stuff," Zoro frowned a little regretfully at the now-empty keg. "Idiot cook sure knows how to pick the right drinks." He handed the mug over. Usopp declined to mention that he'd heard Sanji muttering about the other keg in the back of the pantry while taking inventory. Zoro would be happier later for the surprise.

"Oh... it's alright I guess," Usopp replied, overly casual, as he washed out the mug.

To his amusement, Zoro got his non-lethal death-glint out and Usopp was treated to a surprisingly lengthy defense of the beer, including some pointed information about the skill it took to make it well. "It's good beer," Zoro concluded, narrowing his eyes at Usopp.

"Consider me educated," Usopp said, suppressing his grin and ratcheting up the earnestness. Zoro gave him a suspicious look, then it broke with a long yawn. "Go back to sleep," Usopp waved him away with the wet dishcloth. "You're missing valuable naptime."

Zoro glowered at him without heat, shoved him on the shoulder, and headed back out onto the deck. Usopp chuckled and got back to scrubbing the pot.

When the pot was draining upside down in the sink, Usopp stood up and stretched the kinks out of his back from being hunched, and glanced at the clock. Forty minutes? What was Sanji still doing in the pantry? They'd just taken on more goods at the last island, so Sanji was up to date on the inventory. Surely the pistachios he'd been after weren't that hard to find, they were one of the new purchases.

"Sanji?" he called, drying his hands the last little bit against his t-shirt. He opened the pantry door and started to poke his head around the corner.

Then ducked as something blackish-red and hairy leaped past his face. "What?" he sputtered, but then he saw what was darting around on the floor.

Spiders! More correctly, tarantulas. Some of the most beautiful he'd ever seen, with reddish legs and abdomen, haloed with longer black hairs, and a striking green patch on their back.

They were slightly iridescent, with striking big eyes. And their size! They looked exactly like the tiny and very pretty versicoloured greenback he'd seen as a kid, only bigger.

Well, this was the Grand Line after all.

"What's that, a four-inch leg span on you? Ooh!" he said eagerly as one landed on the leg of his overalls and hung there. There were a few more on the floor that he could see, but they moved quite quickly so it was hard to count them as they vanished and reappeared from among the sacks and barrels of supplies. A couple of more sedate ones sat still on the opened crate from the last island, resting on hemp sacks of pistachios.

Beyond which, backed against a couple of tied-down rice crates and holding a crowbar in rigid hands like a club, was Sanji.

His gaze darted everywhere trying to follow the moving spiders, until it caught on Usopp. Red spots appeared on his angry, pale face.

"Sanji!" Usopp said, concern tripping over some initial amusement to take over his expression. Oh yes, it was ridiculous that a man with Sanji's strength and reflexes was afraid of some fuzzy spiders, especially these pretty things.

But he truly was _afraid_ of them and there was an undetermined number streaking and jumping through his pantry, between him and the door no less.

Usopp quickly closed the pantry door behind him to stop any from escaping to the galley. "Why didn't you call me?"

Sanji clenched his jaw and looked sideways, then flinched violently as one of the tarantulas came down over the top of the rice crates and approached his shoulder.

"Whoa, whoa," Usopp tried for a Chopper-style calming voice, and bent to lift the spider on his leg away. He set it down on a nearby crate, and then stepped carefully across the floor to Sanji. He rescued the tarantula on the crate near Sanji's shoulder. Irritated by this, the tarantula scraped at its abdomen with its back pair of legs, flicking itchy hairs onto Usopp's wrists, then jumped away. Usopp grimaced, then wiped his wrists against his overalls and reached for Sanji. "Alright, come on."

"There weren't any when I opened it, and then a fucking shitload of them started coming out," Sanji hissed. Usopp got a hand on his arm and gently tugged. "If I ever fucking go back there I am going to kill that fucking vendor."

"Sometimes they just hitch a ride," Usopp said, keeping his tone even, and trying to avoid sounding placating. He gave Sanji's arm a squeeze as he guided him forward, pausing to shift any tarantula that moved into their path, and not letting go, even when Sanji jerked away from any spider that got within a few feet of him. "These ones sometimes move in a group."

"Shitty bugs," Sanji spat. When there was a clear path between him and the door, he yanked himself free of Usopp's grip and dashed for the safety of the kitchen. Usopp followed, just barely managing not to have the door slammed against his nose.

Sanji gripped the counter and glared at the pantry door, breathing hard.

"Hey," Usopp asked carefully, trying not to hover too obviously. "Why didn't you just yell or something?"

Sanji leveled the glare at him instead. "Shitty swordsman was here."

Usopp couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes a little. "How long would you have waited?" he asked with an exasperated frown. "What if I'd left with him?" Now there was a nasty thought. Funny in a story, maybe, but Usopp didn't actually find it amusing to imagine Sanji trapped in there all night.

Pressing his lips together, Sanji looked pointedly away from him, and then fumbled out and lit a cigarette. His hands actually shook. Usopp sighed a little.

"I'll round them up, okay?" he told him. "I can catch them, no problem. I'm... actually surprised you didn't kill them all, to be honest," he added tentatively over his shoulder as he took a moment to run his stinging wrists under the tap. It couldn't have been that hard for Sanji to stomp them dead.

"No spider guts in my pantry," Sanji snapped.

"Oh, yeah. Probably for the best." That was a good point. He dried his hands off and studied the red patches on his arms for a few moments. They prickled with irritation but didn't seem to be getting any bigger.

"What is that?" Sanji stared at the patches with profound worry.

"They release itchy hairs when they're annoyed," Usopp said, prodding one of the itchiest spots. "And it sort of makes you get hives like you're allergic."

Sanji blanched and stared in horror at the pantry door. And Usopp realized what images that must have given the person who cooked with those supplies.

"It's fine," Usopp reassured him hurriedly. "The stuff that makes them itch only really works right around when they get released. Even if there are any left in there afterwards, it won't bother anyone." Sanji seemed to relax, just slightly, now only staring with intense loathing at the door. The spiders themselves were still in there, after all. So... what to keep them in? "Is that old box of coconuts still in there?" It was half-empty and had a wire mesh stapled to the inside, which would let air through but not spiders out.

"Yes," Sanji said, agitated. "Fine. Use that. It's good." Usopp half expected to be propelled unceremoniously back inside the pantry, but Sanji stayed right where he was, cigarette clenched in his teeth and hands rigid on the counter.

Usopp resisted the urge to say... something, what, he didn't know, he couldn't think of anything that would not be taken as some kind of condescension, right now.

He focused on what he was able to fix immediately, and went to his bag instead. It was where he'd left it at the dinner table and he fished out a pair of gloves and a collapsible net.

Anywhere else and he'd be happy to wait all the spiders out, and enjoy seeing their agility in action, likely with Luffy right next to him, but for Sanji's sake (not to mention, at mealtimes, everyone else's) faster would definitely be better for now.

So armed, and after giving Sanji a last brief look, he returned to the pantry.

Catching the tarantulas wasn't a long affair, even careful as he was not to injure them. They were fast, but surprisingly docile, as long as he handled them gently. Soon enough he had the coconut crate occupied by seven lovely specimens. He thought, but he couldn't be completely sure, that that was all of them.

He'd done his best to look behind and under all the places they could squeeze themselves into, but he couldn't check everything without shifting the contents of the room.

Backing out of the pantry with the crate in his arms, he pushed the door shut with one foot. Sanji glared at the crate with unreserved hatred, and kept well away. "I think I got them all," Usopp told him. Not the time to lie, just now.

"You _think_?"

"There are a lot of hiding spots in there," he returned, a little defensively. "Unless you want to take everything out one box at a time, and then put it all back."

Sanji gave the pantry a dark, considering look. Moving everything and replacing it so it fit to Sanji's own standards would be a massive chore. Not to mention the risk of anyone who came to the galley asking why. The first hurdle was not really that terrible, but Usopp saw Sanji's gaze go apprehensively to the exit, and knew he'd realized the second.

"Look," Usopp said quickly. "Just come get me if one comes out." Maybe they could set up a signal or a code word or something.

"Right," Sanji said, turning back to the pantry door with a sort of muted dread that gave Usopp a deep pang of guilty sympathy.

"Or we can just move it all, we'll say it's a-"

"No," Sanji cut him off, pride obviously winning out, and Usopp fell silent, regretting dissuading him. "Get those shitty bugs out of here."

Usopp nodded, squashing frustration. He pressed his lips together so he didn't say anything more, and hefted the crate in his arms, plotting the best route to take to get these down to his workshop without anyone paying attention.

The rest of the evening went along calmly, with no more arachnid-related incidents, though Sanji spent most of the time smoking off the aft deck, so there wasn't much chance of them anyway.

Usopp had first watch that night, and to his surprise, Sanji appeared through the floor hatch about half an hour in with a covered plate, which he handed to Usopp and then disappeared without a word.

It turned out to be a layered chocolate-vanilla mousse thing with a fruit garnish cut into delicate shapes. One of those fancy, finicky things Sanji preferred to make just for the ladies, though sometimes it was a mealtime dessert, if Sanji was in the mood.

Usopp picked up the spoon and looked at it a little longer, appreciating the finesse and the gesture. "You're welcome," he said to the empty lookout room.

It was impossible not to enjoy everything Sanji made-and would be an offense to Sanji not to, in any case-but the awareness remained that Sanji was now not at ease in what was supposed to be his domain, and this gesture only reminded Usopp further of that. Well, to hell with Sanji's pride, there had to be a way around it... He ate slowly, and pondered. By the time he was finished his dessert, he had a plan.

* * *

><p>Damn, they weren't going to make it. The pre-dawn light was rapidly becoming dawn.<p>

"Come on, guys, we're almost done," Usopp encouraged, lifting one of the two massive jars of vinegar that still had to go back in. They weren't, really. Crates, jars, containers, sacks and barrels were still taking up a great deal of the available surfaces of the kitchen and dining areas.

"Awwww no, he's coming!" Luffy ducked back from the door's little window, and grabbed a basket of onions, dashing for the pantry.

And then, there Sanji was, pushing the door open to the galley. He stopped like he'd hit a wall.

Usopp was just exiting the pantry, Luffy halfway to it, while Zoro was lifting up the crate of pistachios that had precipitated all of this.

Sanji went white, and then red, and Usopp caught the flicker of panic around his eyes. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY PANTRY?" Sanji thundered

"Putting it back, shitty cook," Zoro replied, and settled his grip on the crate before heading to restore it to where it had been.

"Sorry Sanji," Luffy said, sidling back towards Sanji and holding the basket extra carefully. "We really had to. Usopp said so."

Sanji turned his furious glare on Usopp. Hurt flashed there and he wanted to kick himself. And possibly Luffy.

"It's not-" he managed, before Zoro emerged again and spoke over him.

"Blame the longnose if you want, shitty cook, but if you think I'm letting that beer that you _hid_ from me leak all over the floor just because this guy," he jerked a thumb at Usopp, "tipped things over getting his glue supplies in the middle of the night-"

"I was out of vinegar," Usopp interjected faintly, inwardly staggering with relief at Zoro's intervention.

"-then you're more of a dumbass than usual." Zoro grabbed the next crate and headed back again.

Usopp looked studiously at his feet. He'd (very) carefully shifted some of the bigger stacked crates so they were slanted and tumbled-looking over the keg, which had been hidden deep at the back.

To get it out without risking a food avalanche, they'd had to make room in the pantry by taking most everything else out before righting those big ones. Which, of course, had "luckily" stopped a few inches safely above the keg.

Zoro had come off his watch shift by then, and Luffy had been sneaking-badly-up to the kitchen already. It hadn't taken much convincing.

"I uh... hoped we could finish before you got up," Usopp added. He looked up at Sanji.

Luffy patted Sanji on the shoulder. "It's okay, Usopp had a whole chart for knowing where everything went. All the stuff we took out went back to its place."

"Keg's at the front now!" Zoro corrected from the pantry.

"Oh, and that bag of peanuts I dropped, it made a mess, so I just ate them." Luffy added, apologetic but unrepentant. It if had been dried beans, of course, they'd have still been around, but Usopp thought the sacrifice of peanuts was probably acceptable here.

The colour of Sanji's face was returning to normal, though the red across his cheeks was slowest to fade. "That's... okay, Luffy."

Luffy grinned at Usopp. "See? He's not mad! I told you!"

"So everything's fine in there?" Sanji asked, the brittle edge of his skepticism apparent to Usopp's ears, if not the others.

"Everything's the way it should be," Usopp promised.

"Hmph. I'll be the judge of that," Sanji answered, but his shoulders seemed to ease a bit. Usopp let out a breath, and then gave Sanji a guilty-looking smile.

"Why am I the only one doing this?" Zoro grumbled as he came out of the pantry again.

* * *

><p>Breakfast that morning happened without appreciable delay, even though Sanji evicted Zoro and Luffy from his galley, ostensibly to punish Usopp by making him finish the rest of the work alone. In fact, he and Usopp put the remaining supplies back together.<p>

Sanji's automatic knowledge of where everything belonged made it simple, though, so everyone's pancakes were ready on time and with no apparent difficulty.

Usopp inhaled his own with thorough enjoyment, made better as he saw Sanji go in and out of the pantry a few times during the meal as he refilled a couple of spice shakers and pulled out some more jars of jam after everyone managed to go through the four on the table. Usopp thought he spotted a slight hesitation the first time, but none of that dread from before.

When Sanji emerged with the jam, he caught Usopp looking at him, and shrugged slightly, smiling. _No problem._

Usopp raised his plate in response. "Jam?" he called out.

"Ladies first!" Sanji barked, in perfectly normal form, sliding smoothly up to Nami and Robin and depositing a jar there.

He put the next one down in front of Usopp, though.


End file.
